I Knew
by Sable Supernova
Summary: James' patience is wearing thin with Sirius, and it seems Sirius couldn't care less. Written for the Card Will Tell Your Fate Challenge, prompts were James Potter, friendship genre, title: I knew, "I knew we were going to be best friends, when I realised you are just as awesomely weird as I am." "Fun? Then it's one hell of a sick and twisted joke."


_Written for The Card Will Tell Your Fate Challenge, as mentioned in the summary._

_Warning for mild sexual situations and explicit language._

* * *

When James felt the mirror burn in his pocket, he groaned. What the hell did he want now? He didn't want to admit it, but he was getting sick of Sirius Black. It was late, gone eleven o'clock, and James had been just about to go to bed. He pulled the mirror out of his pocket and muttered, "Sirius."

"James! I need your help!" came Sirius' over enthusiastic voice.

"What with this time?" James asked.

"I'm locked in a broom cupboard, and it's not letting me unlock it from the inside!" Sirius explained, sounding a little panicked. James held back his urge to laugh. He was too tired for this.

"Great, sleep well," he said.

"Ah, come on mate, it's been a bad enough day as it is, I don't need this," Sirius replied.

James sighed. "Fine," he said. "Where are you?"

"Sixth floor, near the portrait of Ulric the Oddball," he replied, and James reluctantly grabbed his cloak.

"Keep an eye on the map, detention is the last thing I need," James said, before shoving the mirror back in his pocket and heading out.

If this had been a one off, James wouldn't mind, but it wasn't. Sirius' summer has been difficult in ways James couldn't even begin to imagine, but James has been there for him in ways no one else was. He'd given him everything, shared his home, his food, and this... This was his way of repaying the debt.

Sirius had changed since they came back to school this year and James kept waiting for his old friend to come back. Sirius had given in to his reckless side entirely. He was living on short skirts and long drinks, with the devil on his shoulder. He'd gone out that night telling them he was going to call it off with his latest bit. There had been so many in the last two months, James wasn't even certain who she was. He guessed that Sirius' current predicament meant she hadn't taken it very well. They never did. And James knew this wasn't the end of it. Tomorrow, there would be another. He was tired of it, but Sirius didn't seem to grow tired of anything anymore. He didn't seem to care, and that wasn't him. James was sure of it.

It didn't help that James had begun to grow up. With the Quidditch Captain badge shining brightly on his chest and the threat of it being taken away if he broke too many rules, James was trying to focus. He knew he had to work hard this year, and next, if he was going to get the career he wanted, and he was trying. He was ambitious, and knew how to work and play hard. Sirius had given up on the working part of the arrangement.

So when James arrived on the sixth floor corridor with the portrait of the ancient wizard, he was half tempted to keep walking, but the part of him that still held hope that his old friend was in there, somewhere, stopped to whisper the incantation to the lock. The door opened just as footsteps were heard around the corner.

Marlene McKinnon, sixth year Gryffindor like them, stopped still to take in the scene before her. Her long dark hair was slightly more unkempt than they were used to seeing and her shirt was a little too creased, but both of them knew better than to ask questions.

"What the hell?" she asked, confusion on her face. Sirius grinned.

"I broke up with Sarah, she locked me in a broom cupboard," he said, stepping out into the corridor.

"Serves you damn right, Black. Why'd you let him out?" she turned on James.

"I'll be honest, I nearly didn't," James said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"How many hearts have you broken now, Black?" she asked Sirius, and she seemed angry.

"She'll get over it," he said with a shrug and a blank expression. James felt an urge build up inside him to hit his friend, and the look on Marlene's face suggested she felt the same.

"You can't treat people like that, Black," Marlene began, stepping closer to him. "You don't have the right to pick people up and use them, to throw them out like trash that's past it's sell-by date. Just because you don't have any feelings left doesn't mean the rest of us are heartless, too. Do you even see their tears?" She was shouting now, like she was trying to get a reaction out of him, but he just stood there, his face a blank page in a book that used to be full of useless facts and bright illustrations. "Can't you see what you're doing? You're breaking people, Black. You're shattering hearts into a million pieces because you want a little kick on a Friday night and you're leaving the mess for everyone else to clean up!" Marlene was stood right in front of him, and he just stared right through her.

"I'm just having fun," he said.

"Fun?" A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "Then it's one hell of a sick and twisted joke. Merlin, James, why are you even friends with him?"

James said nothing as he looked between Sirius and Marlene. Sirius turned to look at him like he was waiting for James to answer. James still said nothing, and Marlene walked away.

The two old friends stood in the empty corridor and looked at each other. Neither said a word for a long moment.

"Why am I even friends with you anymore?" James asked, throwing his hands up like he was throwing the towel in.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked. A hint of emotion crossed his face as he narrowed his eyes.

"Sirius, you're doing my head in! I've been a good friend, I've done everything I can for you, but my patience is wearing really thin," James spat as the frustration he felt reared its ugly head.

"You've been the best of friends, Prongs," Sirius replied.

"Yeah, and you've been shit!"

Silence hung in the air between them for a while.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, and James was taken aback. Sirius Black didn't apologise.

"For what? For making me pick up all the pieces you leave behind, every damn time? For making me clean up the messes you get yourself into? I never asked for a thank you after this summer, and I didn't even want one, but a little thought would have been nice!" James said.

"For all of it. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, but I don't know how to stop. I kept meaning to talk to you, but it never came up. It's easier to ignore it and hope it'll go away," Sirius said.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, calmer.

"This. Everything. I wanted a taste of freedom, but I don't think I know what freedom is. I took a guess and I got it wrong. My whole life, I've defined myself by what I'm not. I was the opposite of something, the opposite of my mother. But that's gone now, and I don't know how to be me without it," Sirius said, years of emotions rushing back to him.

"You used to care, Padfoot," James said.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed with a small smile. "And I got sick of it. Caring is hard work, sometimes. But it's also what gives things, people, importance. I get that now. So I'm sorry. I pushed you too far."

James sighed in resignation.

"It's fine," he said. "Can I get some sleep now?"

"Sure," Sirius smiled, and he knew they would be okay.

* * *

At the breakfast table next morning, it was like nothing had even happened. The four Marauders looked like they always had, laughing together about some inside joke as they wolfed down one of the best breakfasts the wizarding world had to offer. If it wasn't for the tears of a Ravenclaw girl as she was comforted by her friends, you'd have thought the scene couldn't look happier.

"Do you reckon if we left a gift and a note for the elves in the kitchen, we'd get more bacon?" Sirius asked, and his friends laughed at him.

"Depends," James said. "You'd have to pick a good gift. What do elves even like?"

Sirius thought. "Flowers. Everyone likes flowers, right?"

James laughed again. "Mate, going back to our conversation last night, I knew we were going to best friends when I realised you are just as awesomely weird as I am," he smiled, and Sirius smiled back.

"Which conversation was this?" Remus asked.

"At the broom cupboard," Sirius responded with a shrug.

"Wait," Lily Evans piped in from where she was sat two seats down from Sirius. James spluttered over his pumpkin juice. "You two were in a broom closet together?" she asked, suggestively.

"Yeah, Sirius was keeping me company while I waited for you to join me," James grinned back. Lily Evans snorted and turned away from the group, but the slight blush that had appeared on her cheeks was all the convincing James needed that he shouldn't give up just yet.


End file.
